The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
