Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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