Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
