My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
