also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
