You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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