I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
