That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
