What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
