Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
