a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
