dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
