You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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