Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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