That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
