GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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