Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
