Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
