I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
