Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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