He kissed a someone with a penis
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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