Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
