Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
