I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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