lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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