just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
