I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
