Four minutes until I can fart!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
did i just pee glitter
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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