Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
