Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
