I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You took a bar mat shot.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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