sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
