Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
