Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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