white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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