i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
