And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
