YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
