She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
