she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
