Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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