I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
