I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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