I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
