a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
