....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
