You can't motorboat a personality
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
