Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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