i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
