WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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