make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
