I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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