I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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